Friday, July 6, 2012

Starting from nowhere.

I have never blogged in my life.  Not sure anyone will read this, but that's ok! I have made drastic changes in my life over the past couple of years, but the most recent decision to find and contact my birth parents along with everything else has made me want to write and share in a manner I'm not comfortable in any other format. 

Brief Background: I'm a 27 year old woman, mother of 1 2 year old, step-mom to 1 19 year old, wife of a retired USMarine.  I am an RN by degree and degree only, that is I moved too many times and had a child before I actually acquired a job.  I love to cook and bake anything and everything.  I've decorated wedding cakes, made sourdough, worked on the remodeling projects, you name it... I get made fun of for being a housewife. I am on a serious lifestyle change journey.  I have lost nearly 70 lbs and have quit smoking.  I run now.. for recreation, although I have a long way to go before I call myself a "runner".


Adoption details (since this is the reason for this particular post) ( I was adopted from the U.S. when I was 6 weeks old.  My birth parents were very young (read: highschool) and made the best decision they could for me.  It was a closed adoption, meaning I have had 0 contact or info about them since the day it became legal.  No idea who they are or where they live... do I have any siblings half/whole?  Yikes, the unknown is impressive. 

The week before my son was born, I had the realization that he was the first blood relative I would ever meet.  

Anyway, since I'm going public with my info to my unknown blood line, I will share the letter here that I wrote as well. 



Hello! 

I was really not sure how to start this letter, but here I go. Seeing that it’s been 27+ years since we’ve seen each other, a letter seems an impersonal way to reach out; however, one has to start somewhere.

I anticipate that the reading of this letter comes with a certain level of anxiety, so I will start with a summary.  I am HAPPY.  I thank God often for the choices that you made to give me the gift of life and the best life you could.  I know that you made one of the hardest decisions that you have ever made… possibly the hardest.  Thank you. 

The people you chose to raise me and for me to call “Mom” and “Dad” were and still are amazing parents.  They raised me with more love than a child could ask for.  I took ballet for many years; and went to a private 
Christian school.  I started piano lessons in 2nd grade and picked up the flute in the 6th grade.  I was dual-enrolled through high school; my parents homeschooled me through some classes and I took music and math through the public high school.  I enjoyed piccolo and flute and was accepted into the highest level orchestra and band in my Sophomore year.  As an orchestra we won a Grammy award for being in the top 10 orchestras of high school age in the country.   I also went on a trip to Europe with the orchestra. 
After high school, I was unsure of what I wanted to do.  I stayed at home and went to a community college for a couple of semesters.  On a fairly immature whim, I decided to move to upstate New York and see where life took me.  I got a job and took some time to figure life out.  I decided to pursue a career as a nurse and started nursing school.  I graduated with an Associate’s Degree in 2008.  The same year, I made the decision to move to North Carolina!  The move was a complicated decision, but I passed my RN boards and also met my husband.  He was a Marine that was stationed in the same town I moved to.  We got married shortly thereafter.  Fast forwarding: in January of 2010, I gave birth to our son!  Pregnancy was more than difficult, and I spent a great deal of time in the hospital, but our sweet boy was born strong and healthy via C-section after a long labor. 

My husband’s career in the USMC ended shortly after our son was born, and we re-located back to the Midwest so he could go to school and find a second career.  We bought a home had have put down some roots!  I am currently a stay at home mom that enjoys cooking, decorating cakes, a little amateur sewing, and selling on eBay. 

A main question that may come to mind is why I have decided to reach out now.  In all honestly, the reasons are complicated!  I have ALWAYS known that I was adopted.  My parents shared that with me with such joy.  I would love to know more about my biological history.  The week before my son was born I had the realization that he was the first blood relative that I was ever going to meet, and it was an incredibly powerful moment.  Although I have an amazing family now, I truly want to meet and KNOW you.  Aside from the questions of origin of personality and physical appearance, I have a bigger drive.  I want to know the people that were strong enough to make the decisions they did: the people who knew love better than most of the people on earth. 

I feel and know that this opportunity to reach out to my birth family is one that many people don’t have.  I am blessed in your reading of this letter and hope that you consider getting to know me. 

Love,
Your Daughter